Recently I found myself in a job that I hate, living with my in-laws and an exercise regimen that had come to a stand still. As I came home everyday from a job that I hated, in a house that was not mine with four roommates, feeling too exhausted to do much of anything save snap at my husband, I thought to myself, "Is this really worth it?". I decided to push through for a few weeks and try my best to make things better at work. It seemed, however, that the more I tried to make things better, the worse they got. I faced ethical questions almost daily, no support from staff and only heard about how I was doing when I did something wrong - and I had never worked harder in my life.
Eventually, after two weeks of crying almost everyday at work I decided enough was enough. I knew it was the worst decision possible financially, but it just felt as if I was digging myself into an awful trap of being miserable and working hard and still not getting anywhere. I put in my two weeks notice, leaving on the best terms possible and decided that I would help my husband start his business until I could find something else. To some, I'm sure this sounds like an absolutely awful plan. I know it is risky, but as the expression goes, "The greater the risk, the greater the reward."
I decided when I put in my two weeks notice that after my job was finished that I would also "cleanse" myself physically by fasting for two days and going on an all organic, whole foods only diet. As I got further into this idea I asked myself what I was doing this for. It boils down to health.
I want my life to be as healthy as possible; mentally, physically and spiritually. I want a job that leaves me feeling accomplished and cared for and one in which my abilities and skills are used and I have the opportunity to learn and grow. I don't think this is too much to ask. This will be the key to my mental health.
As far as the fasting and dieting, I thought long and hard about this endeavor and what it would entail and what exactly my purpose would be. I have struggled since I remember with weight and with feeling self-conscious about my body, though I have never felt unhealthy. Last year I began to run, sometimes as much as 6 miles three times a week. I had HATED running previously and wanted nothing to do with it. But with some self-discipline and perseverance I began to discover that I felt much better while running and being in shape. I think part of my abhorrence to running stems from a deep seeded rebellion of America's obsession with weight. I never wanted to participate in this societal "need" to look a certain way to be accepted. The BMI, I have especially had issues with. With my height, my weight range is 129 - 174 pounds. I am currently at around 170 pounds. I eat pretty well and up until recently, worked out on a regular basis. Where I am at weight wise I feel pretty good and I also feel look I look pretty good. It baffled me that I could lose 40 pounds and still be considered in the healthy range on the BMI.
What I decided to embark on is a challenge to the BMI, that the scale should include varying body types. I am tall and "big boned" - not as an excuse for being overweight, but in all reality my bone structure is large. I plan to lose 30 pounds, which is well within the healthy weight range and see how I feel. My guess is that I will feel borderline unhealthy even at that.
The Plan is to fast for two days, then go on an intensive all organic, whole food only diet. No alcohol, coffee, breads, crackers, milk or other dairy. Only fresh, organic fruits and vegetables, organic meats and organic nuts. After a day of getting my nutrition back on track I will also embark on a work out regimen including 6 days of weight training a week, doing both cardio work-outs as well as weight training. My goal is to work out 30 - 90 minutes a day, depending on the work out. Perhaps even more if I feel so inclined.
We shall see where this journey will take me.
Salud to you all.
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